You know, like a State of the Union address? Consider this my State of Days and Heart. 🙂 It’s been five weeks since the last words were spoken in this space. In that time, our family has:
- Celebrated my Sam’s fifth birthday with a Green Eggs and Ham gathering of family
- Helped start and continue an emergency shelter in our county
The shelters oldest and youngest residents – 18mos, 71 years.
- Celebrated Christmas with two toddlers and a preschooler. It was magical.
- Registered that now five year old for kindergarten {SOBSNIFFLEWEEP}
- Been the matron of honor, a groomsman, a ring bearer and two flower girls in my baby sisters wedding.
In the five weeks prior to the last post here, we:
- moved!! Here’s a little video tour I did just a few days after we moved in.
- celebrated Thanksgiving (with silverware from my moms kitchen because we still can’t find ours in any box),
- launched a book
- sold and fulfilled hundreds of orders for said book from the living room and kitchen table,
- and I hosted a bridal shower and a bachelorette brunch for my sister.
You know. Nothing major.
Add in all the regular day in/day out stuff – laundry overtaking entire rooms, packing lunches, bedtime stories, work, grocery shopping, home repair, sippy cup searching and the like – and you’ve got one overbooked, overcomplicated, overstressed girl.
It’s been a constant rush of days and coffee and driving. It’s been so unusually full that plenty – PLENTY – has fallen to the wayside, including my voice. I spend my days stewarding the words of others and mothering three little bitty kids, and when my meals are mainly comprised off scraps stolen off their plastic plates and I haven’t showered literally all week…
My words don’t get priority. Survival takes priority.
But my fingers itch and my mind races because it’s holding all thoughts as they race, carving new pathways and lodging themselves deep into my heart. In those five weeks, though I’ve been silent here, my mind has been anything but. There are surprises from God that He’s embedding onto my soul and using to take my spirit by surprise. Three specifics come to mind, and I’d like to share them with you, tangled and tripping as my words may be.
- The disadvantaged have moved into my heart. It started with the emergency shelter our church helped to begin, continued with the realization that my daughters continue to be minorities of the majority, and cinched by the executive orders carried out by our new president. I wasn’t expecting a call to battle for the least of us, but that’s the whisper I hear from Him and I’m going to go with it. I may tremble and shake and worry about what others think, but these are temporary symptoms of a permanent condition. Writing is the way in which we process our experience with the world, and there may be more of that and less worry about the way in which that processing is perceived because I can’t bear that burden any longer, and if I keep stuffing my words in I’ll burst, so here they come. That’s all I’ve got.
- My words matter. Simple as that. Whether they’re making a declaration or sharing silly stories from our day, making time for my words needs to be a priority. God has been defining my writing purpose and I’m giddy about it. It’s something I’ve talked with Him about for a looooong time, and my heart beats faster with each piece of the puzzle He’s clicking into place. There are things in the works, friends, THINGS IN THE WORKS and I can’t WAIT til He gives me the next steps to clarity and sharing them with you!!
- Wrapped up with the renewed focus here and in my words, it’s become crystal clear to me that we, as moms, are in no way alone. Whether we work or are at home full time. Whether we have one child or six children. Whether we’re married or single, living in a dream home or in our car, shower everyday or once a week. Whether we speak our minds or keep quiet, feel connected to our church or haven’t been to a church in years, grocery shop with all the kids or online in the middle of the night. Serious or silly, we are not alone. And if you feel alone, that is not truth, and I want to fight that for and with you.
Friends, this is my recommitment. To myself, to us, to this place. To my writing and to those of you who have championed me. To this community of women and mothers who teach me how to do this well, this living of life and sharing of stories.
Now tell me – what have the past few weeks/months looked like for you? I know that blog commenting takes time, so imma sweeten the deal a little with a giveaway! In our unpacking I’m re-discovering my stash of goodies from DaySpring and would love to dip into that for you. Leave a comment with the state of your days and heart {and comment if you share this post with someone too}, and in a few days I’ll select a winner at random and mail her some pretties.
Grateful for this place, and for you.
Oi! You HAVE had a lot going on! We moved last June and that was an adventure so I can imagine having three little ones in the middle of the Christmas season with a wedding going on has to be both wonderful and exhausting!
But I am happy you are recovering, finding your voice, and discovering what is making you tick in the middle of it all. 🙂
My life is finally, sort of, settling down. My bed rest ended when I had our darling little one at 33 weeks and we’ve been in the NICU ever since! The NICU is 2 hours away from home so life is taking a new norm in the hospital and Ronald McDonald house we’re staying in. So many blessings, so much exhaustion, and so much growth. I’m wanting to blog but, honestly, my brain is mush most days. Lol. Total, utter, mush. And I’m not even mommy-ing full time since I go home to sleep and Uriah stays with the nurses! I tried writing tonight but the words are too slowly ccoming out and my thoughts are too jumbled to interpret. Oh, well. I’ll just go pump, eat a cookie, and go to bed. Tomorrow might be my day for a blog re-vamp! 😉
Frannie dear. I just spent like an hour on your blog catching up on ALL THE THINGS you’ve had happening!! I’m so glad you’re keeping us all updated on your precious little guy, and on your time in the NICU. I just followed you on Instagram – keep your eyes out for a PM there from me! 🙂
I’m on the other end of the spectrum with my 4 babies (all born in 4 1/2 years…no twins!!) now teens and the oldest is……a senior! I alternate between denial and panic as I face the reality of emptying my nest. I would give almost anything to hold those four sweet babies in my arms again and kiss their innocent faces. But instead we’re slogging through college applications, scholarship essays, financial aid….. Love my teens – they’re amazing! But these days are a whole new challenge and I’m learning in a new way how to depend on God and trust His plans for my kiddos.
Oh man, teens… I’m going to be taking notes from you and logging them for a few years from now! You are so right in that there’s an irreplaceable sweetness of these days. I’m doing my darndest to lock it in before they grow but it’s just happening too fast. The bittersweetness of motherhood at all stages, yeah?
In my state of days I would note:
-the joy and chaos of the newborn days in fierce combination of sleep deprivation
-the toddler who is fully embracing her independence & potty training simultaneously
-the balance of being a working mom
-a willingness to embrace to the “well lived in” look of my house
All good, and true, and hard, and good (again) things, Sarah. Blessings to you as you pursue these and more!
I’m with you, Anna. Praying for you as God brings you sweet clarity to all the things He is dreaming up for you.
State of things here. . .
-rushing to and fro. This introvert finds herself out of her home and bubble four of our weeknight evenings on a weekly basis.
-so proud of how my babies are growing but so tender about the fact that time is going so fast and I so want to impart things to them that I can’t even seem to put into words.
-my school room is filled with needs that are seemingly bigger than I sometimes. My empathy is working overtime.
-I keep trying to formulate a way to be Jesus with skin on to the least of these but I’m also aware of my terrible propensity for pushing doors open. My Facebook newsfeed is breaking my heart as my brothers and sisters in Christ stand so divided now.
-All of that being said, there is such joy here. Such joy! And Lindt Chocolate and Elvis on vinyl and beautiful yarn.
-I read “grateful hearts are magnets for miracles.” Jesus keep us grateful. Sending you love, friend!
Thank you so much for your prayers, Tina.
That IS the tenderest thing, isn’t it?! Sometimes it just feels like my heart will smoosh with the weight of crushing love.
State of things…
Saying goodbye to our sr. Pastor whose been here 12 1/2 years
Spending time with some of my fave people…pure joy!
Embracing the ways the spirit is leading
Oh, that is a bittersweet thing in ministry, to say goodbye. Blessings as you process that change, friend!