While I was pregnant, I worried about transitioning to two children. I work from home, and while it’s a huge blessing (especially while nursing!) it’s also difficult. Even without kids in the house, I constantly see dishes and projects and to-do’s piling up, and it’s tempting to toss in a load of laundry instead of meeting a deadline. And while kids are in the house with a sitter, it’s really hard to not join in the fun and play with them.
Besides working with kids around, there’ve been other transition trials since having my baby girl. The hours in my days simply fly by, and often at the end of the day I wonder what I actually accomplished. There are so many house projects, not to mention the everyday chores that often are neglected. I’ve grown to dread Saturdays, because we either take the day as a family to relax, or we power through projects, and either way I feel like we should’ve done more of the other. More often than not it ends with a spat, which is no fun at all.
Finally, my health is wonk. The other day I went out to buy a red, white and/or blue shirt to wear on the 4th of July because my clothes from last summer don’t fit my postpartum body yet. While in the store, I ended up trying on a couple pairs of shorts. They were on sale, fit nicely, and were even pink! The icky part is that they were the biggest size available. Literally. I could have gone down a size, but I like my pants to sit on my skin and not cause any bulging, so I usually opt for a roomier size. If I’d been any bigger I wouldn’t have been able to buy clothes in this store. I left in tears, but with the shorts in my hand anyway. That’s a whole other post but oof. It hurt.
I am ready for and need to make some changes in our home. Some kind of family systems need to be in place so that I can reclaim my sanity and pants size =) This isn’t about giving myself postpartum grace, or choosing to be with my babies instead of doing a load of dishes. This is for my health and well-being and because I feel something shifting in my own heart and I need to heed that. I want my babies to see a mama who likes herself, who is proud of what she’s become, who is living well. I want to be that mama. Right now I’m not, and while I’d usually mope in that, something is crumbling in me and creating room for change. It feels like January 1st or a spring cleaning or the first day at a new school. And if I don’t grab that, it will keep flitting away until it’s gone for good. I feel like the needle on a record player that has gotten offset a bit, and is scratching the vinyl instead of nicely fitting into its groove.
The goals I want to set aren’t really new things, just tweaks on things that are currently not working for us. While I’ve never been any good at goalsetting – I get frustrated that the goal isn’t accomplished already – here’s what I’m feeling would push me, in a good way, for the rest of these sweet summer days:
Body
- (one-time goal) Clean out cabinets and toss/donate food
- Workout 3x per week (during naptime, before they wake, or after bedtime)
- Take kids to the park 2x per week (this includes a nice walk to get there)
- Meet daily requirements of protein and vegetables (these are my two worst nutritional areas)
- (one-time goal) Walk to our local farmers market with kids by end of season (it’s about a mile away)
Mind
- (one-time goal) Create an updated financial budget and systems (cash system, checkbook register, weekly balancing night)
- Spend time in my
dirt patchgarden - Keep up with my July Bible study book
- Keep work during business hours as much as possible. Because of the nature of what I do, work will never be 100% from 8-5, but I can do more to minimize my nighttime laptop hours.
Home
- (one-time goal) Donate a carload to church rummage sale from home accessories, clothing, shoes and kitchen items (this is great because there’s a deadline!)
- Accomplish one cleaning project a day – load of laundry put away, kitchen floor swept, dishwasher run, etc. – and not feel pressure to get anymore than that one project done
- Designate a specific portion of the weekends to a specific project – maybe choose one project a month to focus on?
- Meal plan. I hate meal planning but really, really want to commit to it!
That looks like a lot, but honestly – I need it to be. I need to give this feeling of change some direction or I won’t go anywhere with it. Tell me, when you’re feeling the need for a spring clean of your life, what do you do?
-Anna {girl with blog}
I am so in this same place-except the postpartum part…well if I am being honest I still have a postpartum body:-)
I am super busy in a different phase of life but it is the same in many ways.
I will be praying for you in this journey.
Jen
Thanks Jen. It helps to have people in my corner, in the same place in life. YOU can do this too.
Me too, friend. After putting everything on hold during morning sickness, I’m ready to start living again (and nesting!). I also need to set some concrete goals and work on self-discipline. I was reading this morning in 1 Cor. about having the “mind of Christ” — and it’s encouraging to know that my mind doesn’t have to be controlled by my mess. In Christ, there is a perfect balance of peace, self-control, rest, and order. Of course, it won’t be completely achieved in this life, but it helps me to remember that it’s not all on me. I hope that rambling made some sense. 🙂 ((hugs))
Makes sense to me =) But it’s also the hardest thing!! When I see the mess – physical, or emotional, whatever mess it is – my brain latches onto it and sometimes I even dream about it. I need to claim that verse. You’re so smart =)
You are on target my friend, and I have been working on the same goals!
Really?! I kind of love that =) #onthesamepage
I love your honesty here. I think we all struggle with this in different seasons of life. Recently I made a goal to not check my phone, email or facebook until after I’d spent some time with God in the morning. Even if it’s only for 10 minutes, it has really helped me start the day with the right focus. You can do this friend! Hang in there!
I love that one!! I’m a slave to that dumb phone. I accidentally left it at home this morning while we went to Bible study, and it was actually kind of nice to not be tethered to it. Thanks for the encouragement!
I love it! Getting healthy for YOUR health and well-being. (But knowing that you can help others best by taking the time to take care of yourself first.) Good luck with your goals! 🙂
YES – that’s exactly it. I need my oxygen mask on again so I can better care for my family, and others.
Guess who’s got a blog post going up on Friday about goals? Love that we’re all really in this together. We can do it!
Looking forward to reading it, NJ! Also super impressed that you have a post ready and it’s not the night before. #winning
Great Goals Anna! Meal planning can be so overwhelming but once you jump in, it will change meal times. I used to dread figuring out what was for supper. We have been meal planning since the middle of November. And I would recommend “You Need a Budget” – (YNAB) for budgeting. It is a great system and easy to use. You can have access on your phones and computers.
Thanks Lynelle! We have Mint for budgeting, but are awful at keeping it up to date and actually using it. That ‘actually using it’ part is hard =)
Your goals are great! As far as meal planning, someone was telling me about e-meals, a subscription meal planning thing. Google for a coupon code before you sign up, apparently they have coupon codes frequently. You can pick a type of menu (vegetarian, classic, gourmet, Mediterranean, kid friendly, etc), and they’ll send you menus for the week with shopping lists. It sounds pretty interesting. You can subscribe for 3 months, 6 months, or a year, I believe. Even doing it for only 3 months would give you lots of new recipe ideas. Let us know if you try it…I’m interested in doing it but want to hear more reviews from those that have tried it.
I did do e-meals for a whole year, then stopped about 6mos ago as I was just not using it. BUT it was really, really slick and they have a clean eating plan that would be nice to begin using again. Thanks for reminding me of them!
Also, don’t worry about having to get larger size shorts than you’re used to. You JUST had a baby! The bigger shorts can be temporary until your regular ones fit again.
You are wonderful. Thank you for the encouragement.