Sometimes God says, “Surprise!”

And you laugh and cry both in wonder and delight and sheer terror, accepting such a precious gift. You go in for early, early ultrasounds and vials of bloodwork to confirm the gift. You begin taking progesterone supplements and huge prenatal vitamins to hang onto the gift. You force down any liquid and food that you don’t *think* will come back up so the gift – and you – can grow.

You cautiously tell your mom, a few friends. But only a handful total because it’s so precious and new and frankly, you’re not ready for congratulations and joy yet.

You dig out your flowy shirts because when this is the fifth time your uterus has been occupied, you pee on a stick and BOOM. Your 11 weeks is another woman’s 20.

You finally tell your 3-year-old, because he’s been worried about how sick his mommy is. And the first thing he does is smile and say, “I think Jesus,” and you cry and wholeheartedly agree.

You, because of that belly, share the news online and the response, the fullness of joy from others, carries you and brings you to tears.

Real Mom Confessions is a little different this week and I thank you for your grace, for this is the place I’m coming from. A little terrified at the prospect of being completely outnumbered, having three under four and two under two, carrying and delivering and going home with THREE. A little timid to step into joy, because twice now joy has failed us and we’ve returned from delivery early and empty. A little awestruck and honored, letting the Holy fill the gaps of our ordinary doubt. And a whole lot of grateful.


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