Linking up with Five Minute Friday at it’s new home in Kate Motaung‘s place. Yay, Kate! =) The rules: write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking. Hop over to Kate’s to find out the full scoop behind FMF, and to visit other posts that were freely written in just five minutes.
This weeks prompt: Fill
I’ve felt this thing in my soul for weeks now, and it’s manifested itself in silence. With me, silence isn’t a good thing. I like to fill the empty spaces with words – written, spoken, thought. But between things I cannot say, things I cannot share, things my family has to process quietly, late nights and early mornings, all day nursing and toddler chasing at the same time (really.), work and work and work, days between showers and spit-up on my shirts, diapers and lunch and after bedtime typing… there aren’t any words with which to fill posts and pages.
Words are my bread and butter, my wine and cheese. Words are my chocolate and without them life is bland. But in living instead of writing, I’m learning to savor. In between all of the above, I am doing my best to soak it in spongelike, to drink the smell of my baby’s hair, to memorize the grin of my son’s laugh, to capture the curve of my husbands jaw as he smiles at me.
The summer days are flying by me and I am scared we are missing moments, missing days. My baby grows and learns and my toddler son is speaking sentences, words filling his mouth and who does he think he is growing up so?! My eyes fill as I sit and look at them both sleeping in the haze of the day, and I know fall is around the bend and their clothes won’t fit again and these days will draw closed. Each night I forget to fill in my daily journal, remembering just before sleep comes, and I grieve the empty lined space on the dated page. This day will not come again, and it makes me sad to think I forgot about that until bedtime.
Tomorrow we fill. We will fill the hours and the pages and each others hearts.
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I'd love to meet you over a picket fence in our backyards with a cup of coffee and a good story. We'd talk real life, real motherhood, and real encouragement.
This sentence is beautiful: “This day will not come again, and it makes me sad to think I forgot about that until bedtime.” Thank you for the reminder that every day is precious and special, and take time to stop and savor the moments are just as important as writing them down or recording them on our phones. Good job, Anna. 🙂
Happy you stopped by and left a note, Anna – thank you =)
‘I am scared we are missing moments’… means at least that you are aware of those moments. I too feel the pressure of grasping every precious moment – they do seem so fleeting, don’t they! God help us to remember and cherish each one – whether through capturing them in a journal, or imprinting them on our hearts. Thanks for sharing your beautiful thoughts with us here today!
You’re right, Ruth. Thanks for the encouragement.
The thing that’s been pressing on my heart the most lately is that its in the living and the savouring of these moments that we truly write, even if its not on paper (or a laptop). And I’m with you with those toddlers growing up so fast – what is up with that?!
I don’t know who they think they are, growing up like this.
Don’t even get me started on the one who dared to turn 15 this year. And is starting high school. And all she can talk about is getting her driver’s license.
“in living instead of writing I’m learning savor” this is a good reminder for me because i think that I’m i’m not interacting with others or writing my own that i’ll lose what ever blogging friends that I have but the truth is that you need to live life, be aware of the moments you are IN and also make sure that your family knows you are present also. THank you
We’ll all still be in your computer, happily awaiting your return Janel! =)
Love how beautifully you have written this article. The only things that can cheer us up when such feelings fill our head is – ‘tomorrow is gonna be better!’ Wish you lots of happy and relaxed days.
Visiting from FMF,