Linking up with Five Minute Friday at it’s new home in Kate Motaung‘s place. Yay, Kate! =) The rules: write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking. Hop over to Kate’s to find out the full scoop behind FMF, and to visit other posts that were freely written in just five minutes.
This weeks prompt: Fill
I’ve felt this thing in my soul for weeks now, and it’s manifested itself in silence. With me, silence isn’t a good thing. I like to fill the empty spaces with words – written, spoken, thought. But between things I cannot say, things I cannot share, things my family has to process quietly, late nights and early mornings, all day nursing and toddler chasing at the same time (really.), work and work and work, days between showers and spit-up on my shirts, diapers and lunch and after bedtime typing… there aren’t any words with which to fill posts and pages.
Words are my bread and butter, my wine and cheese. Words are my chocolate and without them life is bland. But in living instead of writing, I’m learning to savor. In between all of the above, I am doing my best to soak it in spongelike, to drink the smell of my baby’s hair, to memorize the grin of my son’s laugh, to capture the curve of my husbands jaw as he smiles at me.
The summer days are flying by me and I am scared we are missing moments, missing days. My baby grows and learns and my toddler son is speaking sentences, words filling his mouth and who does he think he is growing up so?! My eyes fill as I sit and look at them both sleeping in the haze of the day, and I know fall is around the bend and their clothes won’t fit again and these days will draw closed. Each night I forget to fill in my daily journal, remembering just before sleep comes, and I grieve the empty lined space on the dated page. This day will not come again, and it makes me sad to think I forgot about that until bedtime.
Tomorrow we fill. We will fill the hours and the pages and each others hearts.