I haven’t been a working mom for very long – just shy of 7 months now. I am the social networking and webinar manager for a non-profit ministry resource company, and work 20ish hours/week mostly from home. There are a lot of things going on there:

• social networking: I manage the social media accounts (twitter, facebook, youtube, linkedin, google+, etc.) for the company – the day to day conversations and also monthly Facebook parties and other events
• webinars: I host and manage registration and setup for all webinars (which are really cool live online seminars)
• 20ish hours: I shoot for 20 hours. I don’t always get there, and sometimes go over.
• from home: this is the hardest part. I work while The Boy either plays or sleeps, sometimes from my phone while he’s nursing, always late at night after bedtime. Husby and I have worked it out so that I go to the weekly team meeting for a few hours on Tuesday mornings. Most of the time it feels like I’ve worked for 12 hours because I’ve crammed in an email here and there, my work day spread out in 15-minute chunks throughout the day.

This was – is – the dream. A job that I love and feel fulfilled by, part-time, and with the ability to be at home. When I tell people what I do, their reaction is always, ‘Wow! That’s perfect!’ And it is! We are SO very grateful for this arrangement that God thought up for us. I LOVE my job. It is cool and cutting edge and fun and I’m good at it.

But…

It is also VERY difficult. I struggle with guilt – ‘I should be paying attention to him, not working on this,’ or ‘I should be working right now, but he’s happy and I want to play too.’ – and exhaustion and a to-do list that seems bottomless. Truth? Some days it feels like too much. Just too many things demanding me. But other days, when I am wearing a cute clean outfit sans spitup, and driving my car alone, after having a great team meeting or dreaming big session with my boss (who is also a dear friend – hi Patty!) and then walk into the house to a grinning Boy who adores me…

…truth is that it feels amazing, exhilirating even. Like I can do anything! Sometimes that’s the coffee adrenaline, but other times it’s because my work is truly awesome and I really love it and I know that for us – for my heart and well being, our finances, my passions – it helps me a better mom. Honest.

The chance to leave the house, converse with adults, contribute to projects, teach others, and share my passion allows me to breathe. It’s like the arrival of my son shook up my snowglobe and work is still something normal that I know, something familiar in the midst of swirling change and shaken up everything. And besides normalcy, my work has value, and I feel valued by my team, and it is good.

But what truly lets my heart breathe and my face melt into joy is returning to The Boy, who reaches for me and smiles and laughs because I’m holding him. When I’m able to shut the computer for the rest of the day and focus on him. When I can start supper and we eat together. When we can go on a mid-afternoon stroll in the park, return for nursing and a nap. Not every day ends up like that, but we’re finding our balance and rhythm and the value in being a mama can’t be measured.

I’m proud and grateful to be a work {mostly} at home mom.

Are you a new-ish working mom? There’s a place online for you – you are invited. Also, click over to read Amandas post on the value of our work today.

-anna
{girl with blog}