I’m here! I’m fine! I’m alive!
I just don’t have words or time to think of any.
Oh, if you could only read the posts I compose in my head! They’re beautiful, well thought out, grammatcally correct, full of passion and meaning and metaphors. But then instead of writing them, I roll over and go to sleep or shower or play with Sam or eat something.
I think too that I’m having a little voice confusion. I know this is my place to fill up as I wish, but my fingers on the keyboard lately feel unnatural and stunted. The having of an audience is giving me stage fright. I know the solution is simply to write until I feel like I’m back in my own skin, but this ol’ first hurdle syndrome of mine is flaring up something fierce. You know, where you fear the first hurdle so much that you give up to avoid it? That.
So bear with me while I figure out where my voice has gone, though I have a sneaking suspicion that I’ll find it in my sons eyes.
-anna
{girl with blog}
{girl with blog}
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Missed you. praying for you to begin again… on a new journey as the Lord leads.
I missed you too. Thank you, thank you for that prayer. That’s my prayer too… only as He leads.
I go through that sometimes too. It’s like, I have to stop and ask myself if I’m focusing on writing for myself or for other people…and I want to be doing it for myself. You’ll find it again, friend!
Yep, exactly. Just a little case of stage fright =)
I’ve been feeling some of that recently, since my dad started reading my blog. It’s weird.
I’m glad you’re alive and enjoying life! It’ll all come back to you.
Right?! So. Weird. My dad reads too. I think that’s what freaks me out the most – people I know in real life (my family, people at church) reading my heart all out in the open. But that’s also the blessing of it. Just weighing it all out, I think.
Awe – missing your sweet voice. Praying you find it soon! In the meantime enjoy those sweet baby snuggles!
Thank you Aurie girl – I am loving them! He’s so wiggly and move-y that the snuggles are only when he’s wiped out, but oh man do I cherish ’em.
I feel ya! I had a blog that people actually kinda liked for the first 5 months of my baby’s life… now I am kinda over it. Just because it’s kind of ordinary everyday life now. So other than my gushing over my love for him… I don’t have much to say. But I feel it will come back when you need it you know 🙂
Oh, I love the ordinary everyday life! And I love reading others’ – it’s like peeking into their kitchen window (in the non-creepiest way possible) =)
We’ll just have to keep writing and trust the process.
Well holy cow, girl. That was the most poetic “I Don’t Know What to Write” post I’ve ever read. 😉
PS. I guess I will have to wait longer to hear about BlogHer. 🙂
You just made my night =) I love it when I see your name pop up in my inbox. I know a smart, little bit sassy comment is coming!! =) You’re great.
I’ll get around to BlogHer one of these days… it’d probably be a simply re-entry post. I should do that.
Haha! Smart and sassy – that’s me! 🙂
I wish there was some way your replies could be emailed to me. Every once in awhile I remember to come back and check for a response, but that sure would be handy. Is that possible?