**edited to add: This week, June 12-18, I am hosting an online book/Bible study on Hope for the Weary Mom – I’ll be posting from one chapter each day from the point of view of the new mom. If that’s not the group for you, click here to find another one! There is an introduction post with more details here. I would love if you’d join in the daily discussion!
When the Gentle Words Won’t Come
Though he is so tiny, all of his 9ish pounds quakes as he screams. His cries are embedded into my heart – I’ve known their sound since his first hours. We have nursed, burped, diaper changed, walked, bounced, and in the end, cried together, and none of it calms him. I am sore and unhealed from delivering him just weeks earlier. As my husband, every bit as exhausted as I am, rises to rock the Boy’s cradle, I clap a hand over my heavy eyes and think, “Is it always going to be like this? Will I ever sleep again? What about Sam – will he be a sad person? What am I doing wrong, God, that I can’t soothe my own baby? 
someday he’ll be embarrassed that this is on the interwebs…

My tiny boy was colicky for 3 months. He screamed and cried all the time. I dreaded leaving the house because he cried and cried and I couldn’t get him to stop. People we encountered were shocked if they heard him cry, and until I saw their reactions, I had no idea that all babies didn’t do that.

I’ve come to learn that my boy will most likely have a big personality. Whatever he’s feeling, he’s feeling hard. This particular emotional trait is straight from his mama. Ahem. I know my words will make or break him, and oh, do I want to make him into a good man! But I am going to need to keep practicing choosing to speak sweet words so that they come naturally, because sometimes I am not a sweet girl. Honest.

As I read the first chapter of Hope for the Weary Mom, I was actually thinking more of my husband than I was of my son. Husby is the perfect guinea pig for me to practice sweet words on! That sounded funnier than it does in my head. What I mean is, I am not always kind to him, especially when I am bone-tired and weary in my soul. Husby is my safe place. He loves me more than anyone, and knows me through and through. I know I can be awful to him and – though we will have to deal with the hurt feelings – he won’t go anywhere.

UGH. That looks so ugly up there, out loud. If you’re brave, please tell me that I’m not the only terrible one who does that.
As I continued to the conversation questions, I kept thinking of him. One of the suggestions in the book is to make a list of things that you love about your child(ren), and commit to sharing at least one of these things with them daily. I am going to do this for the Boy, and tuck it into a journal for later. But I am also going to do this for Husby.

hot and awesome husband that i love

 And that’s not all.

I think as new moms, we are caught in a cycle of constant change and upheaval. Not only is there an adorable tiny person gazing at us and needing us in an exhausting way, but we have to rearrange our marriages/days/lives/hearts to make room for them. Even if we spoke to every other mother we knew, read every what to expect book, pored over all the articles and research… we were not prepared for the enormity of being a mother. Handling this new role with grace when we are wearing our 5th shirt of the morning, slept in 2 hours chunks the night before, haven’t brushed our teeth, and/or are honestly just trying to make it until bedtime… it’s impossible. We need comfort and gentleness ourselves.

So let’s give it. Make that list of wonderful things about your child(ren), and share with them the things that make your buttons burst with pride. Tell your husband he is awesome and hot and that you love him.

just to prove that he does smile now =)

And do not skip yourself. Pour a cup of coffee and take a sip while it is hot. Wear lipstick just because you like it. When you feel grumbly about your post-baby pooch belly, take a deep breath and look at your baby and kindly remind yourself that you.grew.that.person. in that belly.

Be gently worded with yourself.

Let’s discuss:

  • Where do you turn first for comfort and relief?
  • What did you take away from chapter 1?
Be sure to come back and read the threaded discussion – I’m not sure that you’ll get a notification if someone replies to your posts, so just to be safe… 


{girl with blog}

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