This week, June 12-18, I am hosting an online book/Bible study on Hope for the Weary Mom – I’ll be posting from one chapter each day from the point of view of the new mom. If that’s not the group for you, click here to find another one! There is an introduction post with more details here.
I would love if you’d join in the daily discussion!
I would love if you’d join in the daily discussion!
Beer and Cigarettes?
{probably the only time you’ll ever read those words on my blog =)}
Yesterday was a rough day, folks. The Boy hasn’t had a very good week of sleeping and we are all feeling it, he cut his second tooth a couple days ago, we introduced solid food this week which leads to a whole new kind of diapers, Husby has been working lots of time outside his (home) office, and mama is t.i.r.e.d.
So last night when I got to church, after the Boy screamed for the whole car ride and I had a total meltdown on the phone with Husby, I handed the Boy to a friend and did a couple laps around the sanctuary, alone. Eventually I ended up in a pew, hands splayed at my sides, tears running down my face. I told Jesus that I was d-o-n-e done, empty of all good things, unfit to be a mom, not good enough to love my boys, an overall mess.
And a still, small voice gently said, ‘I know.’
Seriously?! That’s it – ‘you’re right, you aren’t enough’ is your response, God? How about some real encouragement, Lord, like uh, ‘You can do it!‘, or ‘you’re doing everything right’, or ‘you are the mom of all moms’. You’re telling me yes, Anna, you are done, empty, unfit, not good enough, an overall mess…
then I fell off my chair because He was right.
{thud}
only He is everlasting. full. complete. enough.
Enough.
Not me. Him. And when I finally said, ‘oh’ in my own still small voice, I allowed Him to fill a few cracks that I’d been struggling to close myself.
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‘…He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.’ – 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (esv)
Content? Really?? With:
- Weaknesses. Where do you fall short? What do you struggle with in motherhood?
- Insults: Have you been insulted by the words of others? A name hurled at you by an angry child?
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Hardships: What has been difficult about being a new mom? Is money or space in your home tight?
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Persecutions: Do you feel judged by others? Feel all you do goes un-recognized by your spouse? What kinds of persecution does a mom endure?
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Calamities: This one’s easy – hat day hasn’t included some kind of disaster?! =)
Plug in your own weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions and calamities – are you content with them? The author of these passages is saying that we should be content with these things because they allow God to shine brighter in us. Seems backwards, but as with much of Christianity, upside-down is really right side up. And isn’t that what we, as moms, want to do – shine God to our kids and families?
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And when I rose up from the floor of the church, I felt better. Not because anything had been fixed, but because I chose to step back, stop trying to superglue my own cracks, and boast in my weakness.
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And when I rose up from the floor of the church, I felt better. Not because anything had been fixed, but because I chose to step back, stop trying to superglue my own cracks, and boast in my weakness.
Let’s chat:
- Have you gotten to the place of total breakdown? What does it look like for you?
- Can you relate to the story Brooke shared in this chapter of feeling completely overwhelmed?
- How does it feel to know that you don’t really have what it takes to be the kind of mom you want to be?
Leave a comment with your responses, and be sure to check back to read through and respond to other comments! Also, feel free to write about this topic on your own blog and link up below. If you choose to do this, please include a link back to this post so your readers can hop over and join in. Thank you!
-anna
{girl with blog}
anna
{girl with blog}
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www.twitter.com/anna_r
www.facebook.com/girlwithblog
www.pinterest.com/anna_r
{girl with blog}
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www.twitter.com/anna_r
www.facebook.com/girlwithblog
www.pinterest.com/anna_r
Oh Anna, my heart hurts for you. I’m sorry you had such a rough day yesterday. But I am so glad you found peace before the night was through. I love your imagery of supergluing your own cracks. But that’s what we try to do isn’t it?!
Thanks =/ It wasn’t really an out of the ordinary kind of day, but everything just kind of hit me harder.
I’m really struggling with exhaustion lately. I am going non stop all day long. Between working full time and taking care of Logan, my husband and our home (which is often neglected these days) there is no time left over to take a breath. If I give myself an evening off stuff that needs to get done just piles up for the next day. I am weary. And right now, in this moment, it’s really hard. It bothers me that I’m inadequate. That I have no tangible control of fixing this. Does that bother you ladies too? I needed this reminder today though. That God IS enough. That He designed me to NOT be enough so He can fill my gaps. But I still struggle. I still want to fix this and find relief.
It’s all about choices, right?! We new moms don’t get ‘and’ anymore, we get ‘or’. And that’s ok, but it sure is different.
love this. hang in there. His enough is enough.
Thank, Stacey.
Just want to say first that I used her last “conversation” about weakness as an email devotion to our house mothers who minister to teenage boys everyday with significant issues. It just spoke to me in a way that felt like mothering is way bigger than myself. I’d rather answer your top questions:
*I fall short/struggle in countless areas, but I think the one that bugs me is my lack of time spent with God. I think I had these really idealistic dreams of what it would be like when I was a mother, that I’d spend an hour in prayer for my kids each day, that our home would be so covered in prayer and the word that there would be no question who was in charge. And I completely fall short in this area. I’ll go through 3/4 of a day before I realize I haven’t read the Bible (that day, or in quite a while) and I haven’t really offered anything in prayer. It really, really bugs me.
*Money is tight. It’s not impossible, but it is much tighter than it used to be and that has been a difficult lifestyle change. I also miss my family a lot. We’ve been SO blessed to actually see them quite a bit, but living a couple thousand miles away is really hard. It’s hard not having them with me, and it’s hard for me to know that they really miss us. WAY more difficult now that we have a child!
*I think it’s SO easy to feel judged or that you don’t measure up. Just look anywhere – everyone with their opinions about how to raise a child, how to be pregnant, how to give birth, it’s like you can never do anything right if you let your head go there. So I try not to! 🙂
Thanks Anna, I really appreciate this!
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