**warning: this post contains pictures, raw and beautiful, of my grandpa as he was dying**

A year ago this week, my dear grandpa went Home. I held his hand and sobbed with my husband as grandpa’s soul left the shell his body had become.

Grandpa had celebrated his 90th birthday just days before. He was the first person in his family to make it to the milestone. I brought him a green cookie and spent a few hours with him talking and laughing. He hadn’t told the nursing staff it was his birthday, so I spilled the beans then added more cards from friends to the wall.

When the hospital called and said we should come, we went. We stayed so long that Husby went to McDonalds and bought an obscene amount of food for us all to share. Our family decided then that the two of us would take the night shift, and my mom would relieve us early the next morning.
Jared and I spent the night adjusting his head so he was comfortable. I dozed in a chair next to him all night, never ever letting go of his hand.

The nurse gently told us it wouldn’t be long, that she would quietly turn off the machines and return later. Husby and I saw his heartbeats slow, and cried hard and ugly.

He breathed his last, then joined his wife, son, brothers and sisters, and Father.

grandpa, 90 years

As grandpas life ended, we didn’t know that a new one was beginning inside me. Our son was growing – tiny, miniscule, alive…

What a beautiful thing – the coming and going to and from heaven! What a gift it was to have been a part of that scene in grandpas hospital room. The divine, present, holy ground on sterile linoleum, two lives that wouldn’t meet converging in one space.

sam, 3 days

As Easter approaches and we remember my grandpas’ last days and my sons first, these intersections of death and life are on my mind. This is how it is with our Creator – Christ allowing death to overtake Him and life still conquering. There is such power in that life – in the life we have in Christ – and such honor in that He allows us to make new life, and such glory in leaving this life wrinkled and ready with 90 years behind us… I’m overwhelmed today, as I remember.

I’ve missed my grandpa and loved my son every day since.


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